Some feelings of unrest had begun swirling around from deep in the annuls of winter. Some riders had been diligent about their usage of trainers to maintain fitness. While other rider's training efforts plunged deep into an abysmal crevice due to the stresses of a transitional period in life. When it came time for a Polar Bear ride back several months ago, the diligent rider prevailed...

When Spring came in cold and wet, again some riders were plagued with difficulties beginning their training while, others persevered with augmented training efforts, bolstered by trainer usage. The disparity in training showed clearly on early season group rides. This lent to the development of hubris in the stronger more prepared rider...

What it all came down to is that, the week prior to the Babylon Express ride, Gary was "Talking Smack" to Dan about his training. The phrase "Sissy boy, Girlie Man" may have been lain down, and it may have even been spoken in a faux Austrian accent. That was the point at which Dan threw down the Gauntlet. Dan challenged Gary to a cycling duel.



The Babylon Express is infamous for being fast and out of control. For this ride, there were to be some newbies expected. If they had shown up it might have tamed what morphed into a testosterone fueled hammerfest. The morning of the ride, Dan showed up at the designated meeting spot of Miller Headquarters to find Gary gearing up. Along with a duel, this ride was to be slated for a Rudy Project Evaluation Ride. Rudy Project had sent Pedal Pushers some gear for the purposes of adding to their review section. Gary and Dan sorted through the various glasses to choose a pair best suited for the day's event.

Gary's inner monologue:
[Yeah the kid thinks it's all testosterone! Little does he know I'm gonna play him like a violin! Let him run off out there, then reel him in like a flounder]

Dan's inner monologue:
[The old man reads one Racing Tactics book and all of a sudden he thinks he's Johan Bruyneel... Geez. Maybe I should let him think he's keeping up today. Naaaaa, the only thing he'll be reeling in is my tire dust.]

Minutes later Orville showed up. Orville seemed a bit flustered by a morning gone wrong. Apparently his Cannondale had a broken spoke so, he was forced to use his 20 year old, steel framed Ross. On top of that, he was trying out some new pedals and having trouble clipping in. Gary and Orville removed the new clipless and swapped in a pair of SPD's from one of Gary's other bikes. In an attempt to find the source of the problem with the new pedals Gary stepped on the pedal as it lay on the ground. With no problem at all, Gary was clipped in! The trouble came when he tried to get out. The pedal tension hadn't been adjusted and it was very tight. Gary struggled to break free from the the pedal's grasp with little to no avail. Dan and Orville almost had to resort to picking Gary up and spinning him around to screw him back into the bike's crank so he could clip out. Luckily, Gary broke free just in the nick of time.

Gary's inner monologue:
[Ach the first fly in the ointment... I was planning on letting the two of them hammer it out with each other. Two studlies beating each other up, while I lurk in the back. Yeah ok I'll pull the line, but it will be on my terms, when they are finished beating each other up. But uh oh, Orville has equipment issues... How the heck am I gonna get this thing off my darn foot anyway?]

Dan's inner monologue:
[Cycle racing is like chess, a good tactician has a plan for the next like 6 or 7 moves. If Gary's first move was to get clipped into a pedal not attached to a bike, I guess his plan was to spend the next 5 or 6 moves trying to get out of it. Let me take a picture so I can analyze genius at work, later on, click...]

After choosing an appropriate pair of Rudys for Orville to evaluate, it was time to roll out. Gary led on the outset, the group spun lightly down the backstreets toward Sunrise Highway. Another factor was slowing their initial progress. The smells of bacon and other breakfast foods came wafting from nearby diners as they spun past. Gary was falling prey to desire of the stomach. Orville made the sacrifice and jumped to the head of the group to lead them away from the siren's song of bacon.

Gary's inner monologue:
[Heh heh, yeah I smell the bacon, but I have reserves! They think this is just bloat, but little do they know that some camels wear their hump in front that's all, but that bacon does smell good. Good thing I bonk train regularly. OK I am quiet now, no talking, they think I am winded, ha!]

Dan's inner monologue:
[Damn, that bacon smelled real good. Phew, glad we pedaled away from that. Hey let's pedal faster and see what shade of red we can get Gary to turn...]

Crossing into Freeport is where the first signs of trouble came in. Orville rolled off to the back after his turn at pulling. Dan rose to the front of the group. Deciding that the 22mph pace was too slow, he pulled up to 25mph. Gary and Orville fell off the back, and in an attempt to mentally break down his opponents Dan slowed a bit to allow them to link on to his draft but then effortlessly sailed off padding his distance between them once again. After keeping them at bay for a few miles, Dan sank to the back of the group to draft and reserve energy for later fire fights.

Gary's inner monologue:
[Draft schmaft! I can't figger it but maybe it is simply his streamlined shape, but Dan has no draft! Now Orville with those broad shoulders and all, there's a draft that you can hang onto, but following Dan is like pedaling into a head wind! Funny but every time I take the pull somebody manages to move up... OK let 'em I will ride my race! It's all the last hundred yards...]

Dan's inner monologue:
[Ha ha ha, look at Gary fishing around back there trying to find the hole I am punching in the wind. He doesn't realize that my aero positioning is lower then his. Not only is he not riding in my draft but, he sucking in my turbulence. Oh look, he's on my right side now, poor guy. Why is he looking at Orville like that?]



The pace held solid in the low twenties. Sitting at the back of the pack, industrial debris including screws, nuts, bolts and glass flew from the road surface, tossed by passing cars and the wheel in front. The wrap around lenses of Dan's Ketyum Glasses deflected the miscellaneous debris, wind thrown grit and general road sludge that they encountered. Proving the Ketyum to be soundly effective windshields.

Gary's inner monologue:
[Hummm, nice pace, comfortable, not too slow, not too fast. Yeah so Dan is wiped from pulling way out front like that. Sad, it looks like a long lead but in reality it is seconds. Foolish waste of energy. Better back here working with Orville, just like Prehn said, find the riders you can work with and ignore the hot shots! Somewhere in there our group had a discussion of Pace lines and drafting, maybe it was on the way back, but it was going through my mind now. Funny how you can make it work without saying a word to the other guys... pedal now and think about Rudy! Back before we started out, I was thinking about the Freeon glasses I had chosen for the ride and the Laser Blue lenses, funny how I hadn't thought about them all this time. I mean I forgot they were there, no vision obstruction, no weight, only pure comfort... I had thought that the lenses would look blue from inside, but they were totally neutral. Maybe a little dark looking into the shadows from the light, but hey, do I look good! Uh oh, better catch up!]

Dan's inner monologue:
[Hey, that was a great pace out there. I think I really had my heart pumping for a while. Great training ride. Maybe I'll fall back and draft while taking some pictures. Wow, these Ketyum glass have great definition and no visual distortion, great for taking photos.]



The group held tight together for the reminder of the route to Babylon. Each person taking their turn at the helm of the fluid 3 person train. They arrived in Babylon having held a 19.6MPH average pace for the first half of the trip. The three men stood and BS'd for a moment. We compared the qualities of sunglasses that make them optimal. Wrap around for all around protection from debris, UV proof, non-fogging, light, good optical qualities, and of course mirrored so that you can people-watch without getting caught...

Gary's inner monologue:
[yeah figures the youngster forget to mention who rolled in first, by a large margin even... I was just taking the lead into Babylon along the last straight stretch when there, up ahead, flashing lights, cop cars, and a blocked roadway... an auto accident, perfect! Many years in First Aid had cured me of rubbernecking. The victory was clearly mine, they would slow and gawk! Ha! Check the rear view after threading through the scene with out slowing... Sure enough, they're half a very long block back... Sweet ride into the lot first.. Hey what's that a family with a kid trailer check it out.. I ride over as the boys pull in and they join us.]

Dan's inner monologue:
[Uh oh, looks like pushing that heavy steel Ross is getting to Orville. Let me slow up and set up a good draft for him to sit in. Gary is going to gloat about being first in, I know it. Oh well, helping a friend is worth it.]

Then it was time to roll out into the headwind. Being blasted, by wind they passed by the scene of what looked like a horrific car accident along Old Sunrise Highway, which adds to the argument that more people should be riding bikes. The wind gusted, so the tight drafting line became all that much more important. The PPO train, ran diagonally to attempt to fight nasty crosswinds. To spite the heavy winds the group held the pace and cranked home.

Gary's inner monologue:
[Yeah I remember when we used to ride this 3 years ago. We'd be wiped out by the head wind. But our little peloton is riding along just fine. And experienced group of riders helping each other down the line. Heck we probably even look like we know what we are doing. Here's this three man string drafting each other and peeling off to refresh the lead, stacked diagonally to catch the draft of the rider ahead, blown sideways by the wind. Ooops. My turn to pull the line]


The Group pulled tightly into the wind all the way back to Freeport where suddenly Orville had fallen back, victim of a serious bonk. Dan and Gary let Orv set the pace and ride through Freeport at a pace he could manage, which incidentally deep into the bonk was still in the high teens! So, our friendly bunch pedalled along quietly chatting for the remaining 4 miles. That is until the last 100 Yards! The Dan began to quicken his pace slightly heading for the turn off Grove onto Harvard. The finish lurked! Gary noticed his slight quickening, and matched it with an extra push, maybe two, and raised the bar ever so slightly, Dan picked up on it, and Bang they we both out of their seats, The attack had begun! Gary let out with a gutteral roar and the two sped off.

In an instant they had gained the corner, Gary swung wide to the left to allow more speed into the turn, Dan hung to the inside and cornered more sharply. The Street sloped gently down and away begging more speed from the competing pair. Tires whirred across the macadam, chains chittered on their running gear as they hammered for first access to the drive...